Sedona Vuggy

Monday night I experienced Vuggy in Sedona.

The natural coming together of the occupants of four campsites in Oak Creek Canyon around a campfire with a box of wine, a few beers, and some mighty fine conversation.

With Luji entertaining herself beside us (our comrades were quite impressed) Jeff and I hung out for a couple of hours with our little international group:

Dick and Lillian, from the Bay Area and Jackson, Wyoming respectively, a 70-something couple who have been traveling, hiking, canoeing and exploring together for more than ten years. Dick has a fantastically unique, cute laugh (I’m sure he’d love that description), and Lillian is bold and friendly in expressing her various opinions.

Joe from Germany, who joined us with a smile and though perhaps didn’t understand a great deal of the multiple conversations taking place at once, shared his love for adventure by the very act of exploring the Southwestern U.S. on his own in truck and tent. Few words were required to share a connection.

And finally, a nature photographer from Boulder, Colorado, Tim, and his wife, Kristin. It was their fire, their hospitality, and their warm and inviting attitudes that brought us all together. Jeff and I connected with them in several ways, all of which impress them selves on me even deeper as I write. We are all about the same age; we have an adopted daughter and they are just embarking on their own adoption journey (!!!!); Tim made a career transition from teacher to pursue his passion and is now enjoying success around the country (incredibly inspiring for me personally considering my current state of transition and adventure!); and besides being a totally cool chick, Kristin works in the health field so we have plenty in common for ongoing conversation.

Adding to the camaraderie and creativity in the air, two or three inventive ideas were tossed out (somewhat jokingly but isn’t humor so often the springboard for ideas?), proving that just getting people together can spark imaginative, entrepreneurial thought.

The next morning Joe was up with the sun and on his way. We waved good-bye to Dick and Lillian as they drove off to meet their day, and we chatted for a good while once more with Tim and Kristin before heading home.

Our random stop at this little campground outside Sedona turned out to be an amazing experience because of the people we met (Jeff and Tim get credit for striking up the initial conversation, by the way). We now have two new friends (soon to be three!) with whom we shall stay in touch, visit in Boulder, welcome to our home, and hopefully share many adventures.

It seems a sparkling new gem has been formed in what began as the open space of a spring evening.

Space Affect

Flexibility has its benefits. Coming upon inspiring space at a NASCAR race was not one I expected, however.  I suppose inspiration really can strike anywhere!

Yes, last weekend we were in Phoenix – a last minute decision to visit my best friend since high school and take in some NASCAR (mention of the latter will bring a quirky little smile to my grad school friends, I’m sure).

We had a great weekend camping at the racetrack and just taking in the fun.  We understood it would be a party – a family oriented party but still one hell of a party – and chose our camp spot wisely.  And we were right.  It was a huge, sprawling, surprisingly respectful party. 

What struck me most throughout the entire weekend is the extent to which humans go to create the perfect feeling for their space (and how clean NASCAR fans keep their campsites!). 

Many, like us, keep it simple and accommodating.

Others take their experience to a whole new level through imaginative use of their relatively limited space. 

We walked through the campgrounds each night and saw something new and different each time.  Some folks have neon lights and big screen TVs on the sides of their RVs, and some bring in space heaters and set up bar areas much like the sidewalk patio at your local eating establishment.

Then we came upon THE group. Three large RVs parked in a U shape with a courtyard cordoned off to designate their area as their area for those of us just passing by. 

OK, so admittedly this isn’t really anything new: even those camped near us at the desert edge where there was far more space between campers  fashioned makeshift borders around their sites with rocks or strung little triangle flags from trailer to shrub (you know, like the ones we loved to hang from wall to wall in our bedrooms when we were kids).

THE group took it to another level entirely.  Start by picturing a complete outdoor bar ensemble complete with tiki grass skirts, patio heaters, bartenders, and rattan stools. Still nothing totally surprising. So what did THE group add to make their space worthy of an inspiring post?  Well, they did bring in a stage and a dance floor, complete with microphones, electric guitars and a karaoke machine…but it was the pool table that put the loudest exclamation point on their space. 

Yes, I just wrote “a pool table.”  A full-size, fully functional, constantly surrounded pool table.

We went to sleep every night listening to the just far-off enough sounds of the band, talking to the crowd like they were playing Madison Square Garden and jamming away.  From girls screaming karaoke songs at 2 AM (quite time started at 1 AM, by the way) to Springsteen to Nirvana, THE group had their party dialed. 

And it all started with a little imagination, some determination, and knowing the exact feeling they wanted to convey via their space. Mission accomplished.

Good Luck, Friend (small business, big impact)

Huh. Turns out putting people first really IS the key to business success!

My inspiring husband sold his business a couple of weeks ago, a business that has given us much more than income over the past 15 years. As a small business owner/operator in a highly competitive space, Jeff was successful because he did for his clients the kind of work he would do for himself, and he was far more than a service provider: he built relationships with his many loyal clients over the years, many of whom are now and will forever be personal friends.

In fact, the vast majority of his clients had been with our small company for 14 years or more, through economic downturns, new homes, and new family additions. That is saying something in this age of quick turnover and flimsy loyalty.

There are many stories I could share that reflect the kind of impact this hard-working, disciplined, thoughtful man made on a good chunk of Salt Lake City’s east side, but I promise to share just a few.

One of my favorites happened when we had been in business for just a couple of years. Upon arriving at a property, Jeff was met by our client and her young son, who gave Jeff a picture he had drawn. It was a drawing of Jeff's mower - complete with sulky - mowing their lawn. The child’s school assignment had been to draw a picture of someone he admired, and that little kid chose Jeff! Because, as his mom explained, he admired how Jeff showed up on time, every week, rain or shine, and made their yard look great.

To most, landscape maintenance is neither glamorous nor rewarding. This little boy saw past the work to the person doing the work.

I think they are both worth admiring.

That little guy wasn’t the only one who showed admiration and appreciation for Jeff in big ways. The outpouring of love we received when we brought Luji home was almost inconceivable - and it’s all because this one business owner took the time to get to know his clients, listened closely to their wishes, and sincerely cared about them and about doing a phenomenal job for them. Every time. It meant something special and their personal gestures of congratulations – gifts of favorite children’s books and personalized baby towels come immediately to mind – deeply touched our hearts.

And then, earlier this month, Jeff received an email from one of our long-time clients. I share it here because I am so proud of him and because it reflects perfectly the kind of guy he is and the kind of business owner far too many fail to be.

February 16, 2012

Dear Jeff:

Your very thoughtful letter came in the mail today. You had hinted something last fall, so I was not unprepared, but I want to tell you that I cried. You have become such a welcome face in my life, but I know, nothing in life is constant but change. So I wish you and your little family the very best in the future, hoping [Luji] will have a wonderful home with her loving parents and that whatever you plan to do in the future will be as successful as what you have done in the past.

I will miss you terribly and will give [the new owner] a chance to prove that he is as good as you. He is stepping into some mighty big shoes.

Good luck, friend.

I cried when I read her email. Gosh, I’m tearing up now. But just knowing how much those mighty big shoes have meant to so many, and that they are now free to explore the next chapter in our lives, brings a big smile to my lips.

Jeff’s caring, grit and commitment made his properties shine. But his many successful years in business were as much about maintaining beautiful relationships as they were about maintaining beautiful landscapes.

In the end, the former far outshines the latter.

Little Things

This post is a special request from Luji. I made her sad the other night by washing off, without talking with her first, the pink unicorn painted on her cheek. Oops. Needless to say, I felt terrible but couldn’t help but smile when she asked me, through tear-filled eyes, if I would write a blog about her unicorn.

How could I possibly say no?

I kept my word and started writing the next morning. But it just wasn’t flowing. To our dismay, several more tries throughout the day yielded no further progress. Today I finally clued in and asked her what she wanted to say about her unicorn. This is what she said:

“That it was so pretty. And I liked it so much. And that I did not want it to go away. And that we are going to have a unicorn picture on the blog.”

What did you like best about it, I asked. “I liked that it had sparkles!” she answered with a smile, her little fingertips tapping her cheek.

This thoughtful child and her sparkly unicorn have again reminded me to be careful not to underestimate the power of little things.

Threads of Family

There is much on my mind today. And it’s all good.

Yesterday we celebrated Family Day. Four years ago on February 17, Jeff and I flew from Hong Kong to Nanchang, China, to meet our beautiful little girl. She was 8½ months old and had changed our lives long before we met her in person. Our family was complete the moment her nannies placed her in our arms.

It also expanded in ways we could never have imagined.

We celebrate Family Day each year with special time together, lots of laughs, looking at photographs and remembering our trip to China and of course, cupcakes!

It’s fun and lovey and incredibly meaningful. And this year I am especially reflective. Radiating out from our beautiful core of three are all the people who – regardless of biology – are family.

There is my mom, who planted the seed for our move to Southern Utah and now lives just five houses away from us (yes, that was a conscious decision on our part and one which we do not regret for a second!). She is the most loving, giving, thoughtful person I have ever known. She is also the person who instilled in me the value of building lasting, meaningful friendships. Her best friend of more than 25 years is family, plain and simple, and their friendship has shaped the my idea of what true friends do and are for each other. I could go on and on about my mom. Honestly.

Her mother, my wonderful grandma who taught me to appreciate the fine things in life without ever taking them for granted, and to cherish through your last days those you call family, lived on her own until the last few weeks of her life. She passed away on January 18, 2012 (a month ago today) at the age of 91. Ninety-one. She was born on a farm and dated in horse and buggy. She was the last surviving sibling of 12 children and the one thing that truly mattered to her was her family. Today is the first day I have felt like writing about her…and I can trace the joy in doing so back to the photographs we found last night: she was holding Luji just after our return from China. And the smile on her face said it all.

The power of this little girl’s love on that old woman struck me full force. Regardless of biology, Grandma opened herself to the threads of family that wove a little Chinese girl into her heart.

The same thread weaves another group of families together. Four families who stay in touch and share a special bond through five little girls. Luji (a nickname derived from her Chinese name, by the way) is second from the right in this sweet photo. They are the reason we each traveled to China four years ago, and it is imperative to us that they remain in touch. Geographically we are split: two families in the western and two families in the eastern U.S., but the bond of family is strong in our unique relationship and our girls will grow up knowing its worth.

Then there is my sweet brother. Most guys wouldn’t like being described as sweet but he would just smile and give me a nice, tight hug. We’ve always been close but the unexpected death of our father several years ago brought our two families together in a new way. We now celebrate Dad every year with a family trip to our childhood camping spot and shine with pride as our girls experience the joy of being outdoors, close to nature – with family. A joy our dad so deeply and lovingly imparted to us.

Every time our family goes out for a hike, rides our bikes or trots around the neighborhood on Beemer, my in-laws are right there with us. Though they live 2,000 miles away, we visit each other several times each year and in the interim, technology allows us to chat face-to-face as often as we wish. From my wonderful in-laws, our family has inherited a love of physical activity and adventure through their amazing son, whom I am so very lucky to have discovered so many summers ago.

The rest of our family lives in Jackson, Wyoming. Friends who have become so much a part of our lives that we cannot imagine life without them.

The little girl in the middle of photograph that titles this blog is Luji, holding hands with her two big sisters, Katy and Annie, as they go off on yet another adventure together. The scene that summer day inspired me. I took the photograph during our annual 4^th of July visit – something we’ve been doing for eleven years. We are not much for doing things on a repeat basis: we like to explore and very seldom go back to the same place over and over. Except for our family camping trips and our visits to Jackson every summer. It is family that keeps us coming back.

My little girl has two big sisters who do and will always love and support her, who help her see life through a different lens (and for whom she is beading bracelets as I write). It reminds me of my own girlfriends and the joy and love they bring to my life. And it means the world to me as the parent of a single child, and wife to another, to have these beautiful girls and their incredible parents in our lives. It is one of our greatest gifts.

Thank you for sharing my thoughts today. I hope my reflections inspire you to celebrate your own version of family day (if you do not already). I promise it will bring a smile to your heart.

Freedom!

I’ve admitted it before: I am a change-lover. I love the way it feels to create something new, pursue a different course, discover and then realize the beauty in doing something unusual and exciting. It’s invigorating and natural; providing perhaps the kind of high adrenaline junkies seek as they continually push their own physical limits.

This partially explains why my favorite “business” book of all time is Gordon MacKenzie’s Orbiting the Giant Hairball. When I first read it as an MBA student in 2003 I knew I had found a kindred spirit. This was a creative book about relationships – a work about me, about my approach to everything from change to creativity to leadership to entrepreneurship. I love it because it is not some boring business book with position maps and pyramid diagrams. It is unconventional, entertaining, and spot on, and it not only helped shape my approach to business (I am not your typical MBA –and I’m damn proud of it) – it helped me identify how I had been able to thrive for so long in an organization filled with bureaucracy and caste-like politics: I was becoming an expert orbiter.

In 2003, I sincerely believed I would continue to hone this approach and happily grow in my healthy orbit as the years went by.

But the hairball is not what it used to be.

As 2012 came upon us, I reached a new and deeper honesty in my relationship with change -and the hairball. Looking back over the past 18 months I opened myself to the realization that I embrace change so enthusiastically because it has historically unfolded over a foundation of trust and collaboration. The hairball that had been that foundation for so long, unfortunately, no longer offered either of these.

In January, this deeper honesty helped me to set myself free.

Yesterday, I was freed from the hairball.

Ah! Personal and professional freedom is thrilling and beautiful. My inner adrenaline junkie can’t stop smiling.

Choose to Stay

It rained in the desert last night.

The morning sky is ripe with color.

Everything is crisp and clear. Renewed.

The red sandstone cliffs are more dramatic.

The shades of living green are electric.

The air is pure and clean.

Early morning quiet is all around. Peaceful. Comfortable. Filled with life and possibility.

I am drawn in. I choose to stay.

Horse Play

We have a horse in the house! A horse named Beemer.

Affectionately named after a pony she met at the Jackson rodeo last 4^th of July, Luji’s horse is a sparkly pink hula hoop (“spinner hoop”) on which she has been racing around our house for the last couple of weeks; effectively inventing her own and redefining our idea of horse play.

Her vivid imagination has drawn us in. Invited to announce her first race, we now hold horse races several times per day, complete with starting gates, enthusiastic announcers, and a chance for an admiring audience to pet the winning Beemer.

The course around and around the couch ensures tons of exercise as Luji and her faithful pony race at top speed to edge out their competitors. More than a commuter tool, Beemer is her friend. She talks to him, encourages him when he feels sluggish or tired, celebrates him when he works hard and succeeds. She feeds him, brushes him, and settles him in his “pen” at night. It is a labor of love. She freely admits, “Mom, horses are a lot of work!”

The imagination and thoughtfulness of this little creature never ceases to amaze me.

And it makes me wonder: how would the world be if we as adults could magically embrace this sense of wonder and open play? What kind of world would we live in if the kid in each of us was celebrated every day rather than suppressed in fear of being judged or humpfed at? I’m not sure my imagination is creative enough to answer these questions.

Maybe a ride on Beemer with my vivacious four-year-old daughter will help.

Giddy-up.