Threads of Family

There is much on my mind today. And it’s all good.

Yesterday we celebrated Family Day. Four years ago on February 17, Jeff and I flew from Hong Kong to Nanchang, China, to meet our beautiful little girl. She was 8½ months old and had changed our lives long before we met her in person. Our family was complete the moment her nannies placed her in our arms.

It also expanded in ways we could never have imagined.

We celebrate Family Day each year with special time together, lots of laughs, looking at photographs and remembering our trip to China and of course, cupcakes!

It’s fun and lovey and incredibly meaningful. And this year I am especially reflective. Radiating out from our beautiful core of three are all the people who – regardless of biology – are family.

There is my mom, who planted the seed for our move to Southern Utah and now lives just five houses away from us (yes, that was a conscious decision on our part and one which we do not regret for a second!). She is the most loving, giving, thoughtful person I have ever known. She is also the person who instilled in me the value of building lasting, meaningful friendships. Her best friend of more than 25 years is family, plain and simple, and their friendship has shaped the my idea of what true friends do and are for each other. I could go on and on about my mom. Honestly.

Her mother, my wonderful grandma who taught me to appreciate the fine things in life without ever taking them for granted, and to cherish through your last days those you call family, lived on her own until the last few weeks of her life. She passed away on January 18, 2012 (a month ago today) at the age of 91. Ninety-one. She was born on a farm and dated in horse and buggy. She was the last surviving sibling of 12 children and the one thing that truly mattered to her was her family. Today is the first day I have felt like writing about her…and I can trace the joy in doing so back to the photographs we found last night: she was holding Luji just after our return from China. And the smile on her face said it all.

The power of this little girl’s love on that old woman struck me full force. Regardless of biology, Grandma opened herself to the threads of family that wove a little Chinese girl into her heart.

The same thread weaves another group of families together. Four families who stay in touch and share a special bond through five little girls. Luji (a nickname derived from her Chinese name, by the way) is second from the right in this sweet photo. They are the reason we each traveled to China four years ago, and it is imperative to us that they remain in touch. Geographically we are split: two families in the western and two families in the eastern U.S., but the bond of family is strong in our unique relationship and our girls will grow up knowing its worth.

Then there is my sweet brother. Most guys wouldn’t like being described as sweet but he would just smile and give me a nice, tight hug. We’ve always been close but the unexpected death of our father several years ago brought our two families together in a new way. We now celebrate Dad every year with a family trip to our childhood camping spot and shine with pride as our girls experience the joy of being outdoors, close to nature – with family. A joy our dad so deeply and lovingly imparted to us.

Every time our family goes out for a hike, rides our bikes or trots around the neighborhood on Beemer, my in-laws are right there with us. Though they live 2,000 miles away, we visit each other several times each year and in the interim, technology allows us to chat face-to-face as often as we wish. From my wonderful in-laws, our family has inherited a love of physical activity and adventure through their amazing son, whom I am so very lucky to have discovered so many summers ago.

The rest of our family lives in Jackson, Wyoming. Friends who have become so much a part of our lives that we cannot imagine life without them.

The little girl in the middle of photograph that titles this blog is Luji, holding hands with her two big sisters, Katy and Annie, as they go off on yet another adventure together. The scene that summer day inspired me. I took the photograph during our annual 4^th of July visit – something we’ve been doing for eleven years. We are not much for doing things on a repeat basis: we like to explore and very seldom go back to the same place over and over. Except for our family camping trips and our visits to Jackson every summer. It is family that keeps us coming back.

My little girl has two big sisters who do and will always love and support her, who help her see life through a different lens (and for whom she is beading bracelets as I write). It reminds me of my own girlfriends and the joy and love they bring to my life. And it means the world to me as the parent of a single child, and wife to another, to have these beautiful girls and their incredible parents in our lives. It is one of our greatest gifts.

Thank you for sharing my thoughts today. I hope my reflections inspire you to celebrate your own version of family day (if you do not already). I promise it will bring a smile to your heart.

Freedom!

I’ve admitted it before: I am a change-lover. I love the way it feels to create something new, pursue a different course, discover and then realize the beauty in doing something unusual and exciting. It’s invigorating and natural; providing perhaps the kind of high adrenaline junkies seek as they continually push their own physical limits.

This partially explains why my favorite “business” book of all time is Gordon MacKenzie’s Orbiting the Giant Hairball. When I first read it as an MBA student in 2003 I knew I had found a kindred spirit. This was a creative book about relationships – a work about me, about my approach to everything from change to creativity to leadership to entrepreneurship. I love it because it is not some boring business book with position maps and pyramid diagrams. It is unconventional, entertaining, and spot on, and it not only helped shape my approach to business (I am not your typical MBA –and I’m damn proud of it) – it helped me identify how I had been able to thrive for so long in an organization filled with bureaucracy and caste-like politics: I was becoming an expert orbiter.

In 2003, I sincerely believed I would continue to hone this approach and happily grow in my healthy orbit as the years went by.

But the hairball is not what it used to be.

As 2012 came upon us, I reached a new and deeper honesty in my relationship with change -and the hairball. Looking back over the past 18 months I opened myself to the realization that I embrace change so enthusiastically because it has historically unfolded over a foundation of trust and collaboration. The hairball that had been that foundation for so long, unfortunately, no longer offered either of these.

In January, this deeper honesty helped me to set myself free.

Yesterday, I was freed from the hairball.

Ah! Personal and professional freedom is thrilling and beautiful. My inner adrenaline junkie can’t stop smiling.

Choose to Stay

It rained in the desert last night.

The morning sky is ripe with color.

Everything is crisp and clear. Renewed.

The red sandstone cliffs are more dramatic.

The shades of living green are electric.

The air is pure and clean.

Early morning quiet is all around. Peaceful. Comfortable. Filled with life and possibility.

I am drawn in. I choose to stay.