Threads of Family

There is much on my mind today. And it’s all good.

Yesterday we celebrated Family Day. Four years ago on February 17, Jeff and I flew from Hong Kong to Nanchang, China, to meet our beautiful little girl. She was 8½ months old and had changed our lives long before we met her in person. Our family was complete the moment her nannies placed her in our arms.

It also expanded in ways we could never have imagined.

We celebrate Family Day each year with special time together, lots of laughs, looking at photographs and remembering our trip to China and of course, cupcakes!

It’s fun and lovey and incredibly meaningful. And this year I am especially reflective. Radiating out from our beautiful core of three are all the people who – regardless of biology – are family.

There is my mom, who planted the seed for our move to Southern Utah and now lives just five houses away from us (yes, that was a conscious decision on our part and one which we do not regret for a second!). She is the most loving, giving, thoughtful person I have ever known. She is also the person who instilled in me the value of building lasting, meaningful friendships. Her best friend of more than 25 years is family, plain and simple, and their friendship has shaped the my idea of what true friends do and are for each other. I could go on and on about my mom. Honestly.

Her mother, my wonderful grandma who taught me to appreciate the fine things in life without ever taking them for granted, and to cherish through your last days those you call family, lived on her own until the last few weeks of her life. She passed away on January 18, 2012 (a month ago today) at the age of 91. Ninety-one. She was born on a farm and dated in horse and buggy. She was the last surviving sibling of 12 children and the one thing that truly mattered to her was her family. Today is the first day I have felt like writing about her…and I can trace the joy in doing so back to the photographs we found last night: she was holding Luji just after our return from China. And the smile on her face said it all.

The power of this little girl’s love on that old woman struck me full force. Regardless of biology, Grandma opened herself to the threads of family that wove a little Chinese girl into her heart.

The same thread weaves another group of families together. Four families who stay in touch and share a special bond through five little girls. Luji (a nickname derived from her Chinese name, by the way) is second from the right in this sweet photo. They are the reason we each traveled to China four years ago, and it is imperative to us that they remain in touch. Geographically we are split: two families in the western and two families in the eastern U.S., but the bond of family is strong in our unique relationship and our girls will grow up knowing its worth.

Then there is my sweet brother. Most guys wouldn’t like being described as sweet but he would just smile and give me a nice, tight hug. We’ve always been close but the unexpected death of our father several years ago brought our two families together in a new way. We now celebrate Dad every year with a family trip to our childhood camping spot and shine with pride as our girls experience the joy of being outdoors, close to nature – with family. A joy our dad so deeply and lovingly imparted to us.

Every time our family goes out for a hike, rides our bikes or trots around the neighborhood on Beemer, my in-laws are right there with us. Though they live 2,000 miles away, we visit each other several times each year and in the interim, technology allows us to chat face-to-face as often as we wish. From my wonderful in-laws, our family has inherited a love of physical activity and adventure through their amazing son, whom I am so very lucky to have discovered so many summers ago.

The rest of our family lives in Jackson, Wyoming. Friends who have become so much a part of our lives that we cannot imagine life without them.

The little girl in the middle of photograph that titles this blog is Luji, holding hands with her two big sisters, Katy and Annie, as they go off on yet another adventure together. The scene that summer day inspired me. I took the photograph during our annual 4^th of July visit – something we’ve been doing for eleven years. We are not much for doing things on a repeat basis: we like to explore and very seldom go back to the same place over and over. Except for our family camping trips and our visits to Jackson every summer. It is family that keeps us coming back.

My little girl has two big sisters who do and will always love and support her, who help her see life through a different lens (and for whom she is beading bracelets as I write). It reminds me of my own girlfriends and the joy and love they bring to my life. And it means the world to me as the parent of a single child, and wife to another, to have these beautiful girls and their incredible parents in our lives. It is one of our greatest gifts.

Thank you for sharing my thoughts today. I hope my reflections inspire you to celebrate your own version of family day (if you do not already). I promise it will bring a smile to your heart.

Freedom!

I’ve admitted it before: I am a change-lover. I love the way it feels to create something new, pursue a different course, discover and then realize the beauty in doing something unusual and exciting. It’s invigorating and natural; providing perhaps the kind of high adrenaline junkies seek as they continually push their own physical limits.

This partially explains why my favorite “business” book of all time is Gordon MacKenzie’s Orbiting the Giant Hairball. When I first read it as an MBA student in 2003 I knew I had found a kindred spirit. This was a creative book about relationships – a work about me, about my approach to everything from change to creativity to leadership to entrepreneurship. I love it because it is not some boring business book with position maps and pyramid diagrams. It is unconventional, entertaining, and spot on, and it not only helped shape my approach to business (I am not your typical MBA –and I’m damn proud of it) – it helped me identify how I had been able to thrive for so long in an organization filled with bureaucracy and caste-like politics: I was becoming an expert orbiter.

In 2003, I sincerely believed I would continue to hone this approach and happily grow in my healthy orbit as the years went by.

But the hairball is not what it used to be.

As 2012 came upon us, I reached a new and deeper honesty in my relationship with change -and the hairball. Looking back over the past 18 months I opened myself to the realization that I embrace change so enthusiastically because it has historically unfolded over a foundation of trust and collaboration. The hairball that had been that foundation for so long, unfortunately, no longer offered either of these.

In January, this deeper honesty helped me to set myself free.

Yesterday, I was freed from the hairball.

Ah! Personal and professional freedom is thrilling and beautiful. My inner adrenaline junkie can’t stop smiling.

Choose to Stay

It rained in the desert last night.

The morning sky is ripe with color.

Everything is crisp and clear. Renewed.

The red sandstone cliffs are more dramatic.

The shades of living green are electric.

The air is pure and clean.

Early morning quiet is all around. Peaceful. Comfortable. Filled with life and possibility.

I am drawn in. I choose to stay.

Horse Play

We have a horse in the house! A horse named Beemer.

Affectionately named after a pony she met at the Jackson rodeo last 4^th of July, Luji’s horse is a sparkly pink hula hoop (“spinner hoop”) on which she has been racing around our house for the last couple of weeks; effectively inventing her own and redefining our idea of horse play.

Her vivid imagination has drawn us in. Invited to announce her first race, we now hold horse races several times per day, complete with starting gates, enthusiastic announcers, and a chance for an admiring audience to pet the winning Beemer.

The course around and around the couch ensures tons of exercise as Luji and her faithful pony race at top speed to edge out their competitors. More than a commuter tool, Beemer is her friend. She talks to him, encourages him when he feels sluggish or tired, celebrates him when he works hard and succeeds. She feeds him, brushes him, and settles him in his “pen” at night. It is a labor of love. She freely admits, “Mom, horses are a lot of work!”

The imagination and thoughtfulness of this little creature never ceases to amaze me.

And it makes me wonder: how would the world be if we as adults could magically embrace this sense of wonder and open play? What kind of world would we live in if the kid in each of us was celebrated every day rather than suppressed in fear of being judged or humpfed at? I’m not sure my imagination is creative enough to answer these questions.

Maybe a ride on Beemer with my vivacious four-year-old daughter will help.

Giddy-up.

12 in 2012!

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Woop!

It starts today! It was a beautiful desert morning in Southern Utah for the first of 12 races I have committed to finishing in 2012. Yep. Me.

Amy (fittingly, one of the original inspiring girls) planted the idea in my mind just before the New Year and surprisingly, I immediately loved it: run 12 races in 2012! So simple. And such a commitment.

I’ve run one race in my life and while I liked that I did it, in all honesty it did not speak to my heart. Finishing races as a way to reward myself for creating natural habits, however, seems to. It fits in well with my desire to live an active lifestyle...as a fundamental part of maintaining a soulful existence...and even I have to admit there is a pure sense of accomplishment and pride in oneself that goes along with finishing a race. That feeling alone is a motivator and if this year’s first race was any indication, it will be a productive one.

So thank you, Amy, for sharing your inspiring goal with me. It has already made a wonderfully positive impact on my life in 2012 and I can’t wait to finish a few of these races with you!

And if anyone out there wishes to join me: you have an open invitation. Just share your desire and I’ll share my race plans. After all, you might just develop a motivating little personal race series to enhance your own evolving natural habits.

One down, 11 to go. Run on, Girls.

Beaming

Once again my 4½-year-old has inspired me to the core.

She called me last night via iChat to say goodnight (I’m here, she’s there, once again) and the first thing she did after saying “Hi Mom!” was to open a book she had checked out from her preschool and read it to me - from cover to cover.

She had waited patiently all day to read her book with me.

I am still beaming.

Mixology

My passions in life are like ingredients for edgy cocktails: a mix of creativity and education, collaboration and innovation, anthropology and leadership, design and entrepreneurship, blended together in varying amounts to reach a desired flavor with maximum impact...and always rimmed with a global perspective.

A recent life cocktail was the annual meeting of the Horasis global visioning community in Zurich. 100 business, government and academic leaders from around the world connected in an intimate, action-oriented meeting to address our world's current economic and sustainable growth challenges.

The meeting's theme was "Thriving on Risk." In the end the general consensus is that we, as global citizens, consistently operate in a risky environment - which this group perhaps not surprisingly views instead as opportunity in the making. From capitalizing on the complementary roles of males and females in leadership to a focus on creating disruptive solutions to our worlds various crises by tapping into our spiritual barometer, inclusiveness and collaboration in this risky environment will define our approach to the many challenges of 2012.

Themes aside, the expertise and connections of this group (a cocktail of its own!) are beyond impressive. But what makes Horasis fundamentally different from other organizations is how these powerful, successful folks leave their posturing at the door and let their true personalities shine through. Founder Frank-Jurgen Richter sets the tone for collegial interaction, showing what is possible when you place trust in others and take care to build honest, lasting personal and professional relationships.

Horasis is a community of global visionaries committed to making our world a better place. For everyone. The topics addressed are complicated and challenging, and the people addressing them are warm and inviting. For an innovative anthropologist like me it is an intriguing culture where new ideas and differing viewpoints are not only helpful, they are encouraged and embraced.

For these reasons, as Horasis continues to evolve, I will proactively support our own mix of inclusive growth - advocating for an even broader sweep in backgrounds, interests and experience to add depth in perspective and brilliance in ideas…crafting a vibrant cocktail of inspired, sustainable human-centered solutions.

I AM

Not too long ago, I had the pleasure of visiting a design class to give feedback to students on their final projects. One of the students had created a short video to advertise his idea for improving students’ experience on campus. He called his idea I AM.

It’s simple really. He suggested that the campus community don a button (think a quirky campaign badge from the 1970s) that reads “I AM _______.” Each of us fills in the blank, sharing something about ourselves that our students and colleagues probably don’t know, sparking conversation with people and around issues on which we may never otherwise connect.

Some of the video “I AMs” included “I AM Colorful,” “I AM 40,” and I AM Alone,” and “I AM Creative.” The descriptions were diverse and real. The video was well done. It was a refreshing approach to learning about our community, one member at a time. And it was already having an effect: each of the mentors and nearly all the students present remarked on how moved they were by this student’s simple, inspiring idea.

Moved as we were, our reactions varied. Some easily identified a word, wrote it on their button, and casually pinned it to their backpack. Others fingered their button, looking at it, looking into space, clearly contemplating what word would describe them concretely enough to write on a button. Others simply stuck the button in their packs or left them quietly on the desk as they left class that final day.

My button has remained thoughtfully attached to my bag while I consider how I wish to fill that flirty little blank; that space that exists to share something special about me; to create Opportunity. Adventure. Success.

At last I have decided what to do: I shall simply leave it blank. For you see, for me, the button as is serves its purpose. That beautifully simple open space has started more conversations than I can count, and it allows me the latitude to define myself in the moment – which, in the end, is most authentic for me.


Now I wonder, what might your button say?